Selfish
by TheRoseShadow21
Summary: "And as for loving you, with this depth and strength-why, I want that too." Oneshot drabble, KarmaXManami. Could fit with either anime or manga timelines (as far as I know). Rated T to be safe.


**Before you start this, I should point out that this is a combination of drabble and monologue, so some of this is thought as well as speech. So when reading, do take that into account. Also, the idea behind this is that it's meant to take place very near 'the end', that is to say, when they are gearing up for the final assassination attempt. So I'd imagine in that type of situation emotions run high and given the consequences of their failure, there'd be a rush to do things that they won't get to do, and say things they've always wanted to say. That kind of thing.**

Something's bothering you, isn't it? I can tell. Nothing really escapes my notice now, as you should well know. So, out with it, Okuda-san. No, really. Take all the time you need. It _feels_ like we have all the time in the world anyway, despite that goddamn crescent moon telling us otherwise, you know? Even so, it's…pretty, to use a word that I don't really use. Not that it isn't a good word. If you think that pretty is a good word for something, then you should use it, Okuda-san. But I digress. I'm supposed to be listening to _you_ , not the other way around. So tell me, please.

Don't be silly, I want to know. Honestly, when have I ev- _oh_. Ah, I get it. I get it. Let's stop for a moment. Here's a good place to sit, right? We can use my coat, so we don't get mud all over ourselves. I don't mind, Okuda-san. I like helping you, that's what friends do, you know. What people who care for each other do. And you help me, you know. Of course you do, don't look stunned. Just think of all those tricks I pulled off because you helped me, and surely you haven't forgotten the times you helped me with home-yeah, thought so. You see?

But it's not just that, is it? It's the times we spend together. In class, before class, after class, even during holidays and weekends. It's…oh, this is an odd occurrence. I'm not sure what word to use, weird, isn't it? I wonder if that reminds you-ah, there's the smile I've been waiting for. There it is. I was wondering, where did Okuda-san's smile go? But it's here now, that's good. I don't want that smile to disappear, ever. Obviously, don't go walking around everywhere with a fixed grin because that's creepy, but please, keep smiling. That smile, it's one of the things I look forward to seeing every day. And I like being the one responsible for bringing it out.

See, that's what I was trying to explain a moment ago. You're worrying that you're too much trouble for me, that I would be annoyed with someone so 'incompetent' like you, that your presence might annoy me. That's an inaccurate self-description by the way, but again, I digress. Perhaps someone who hasn't a clue what we've been through, and what we're still going through, cannot see why I am putting up with you. An even lesser being might see me as being extremely altruistic. But they're wrong. Don't listen to those whispers. I'm no hero. This isn't altruism. Really, it's selfishness on my part. Pure selfishness.

Yeah, I know, a weird way of putting things, but let me explain. Keeping you company, spending time with you, these are all things I _want_ , so I do them. Like I said before, I like the privilege of being the one to make you smile, and I generally like that smile of yours anyway, because it is yours, so of course I'm going to want to do things that make these things happen. When you're in pain, or troubled like earlier, it hurts me, too, and so to ease my pain, I need to banish yours. So all the things I've done for you, it's because I _want_ to. That's all. And as for loving you, with this depth and strength-why, I want that too.

Eh, what's with the blushing, so suddenly? You look like my hair-oh, right. Yes, that was abrupt of me. I'm sorry. But it's true. I love you, and that won't change A life with you, that's my selfish desire, and if you'd like, that's what I intend to fight for.

To hell with what anyone else has to say about it.

 **A note on the title and concept: I don't necessarily think Karma is 'selfish' in the cruel, uncaring sense of the word. However, he is also a character who has a tendency to do what he wants when he wants, and just comes and goes as he pleases with little regard to most other factors. I also think he is self aware enough to recognise these traits in him, and that's where the general idea comes from. If you have any other opinion on this, do leave a comment in the review box, and we can discuss it. I'll be happy to.**

 **But in general, I hope you enjoyed this and please leave feedback.**


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